Sunday, February 26, 2012

I Like it When You're Here

The Odenettes: Aunt Connie, Me, Debbie and Mom
Last night I headed upstairs to get ready for bed and turned on the bedroom TV. Forrest Gump was on - right at the part when Jenny dies - right when Forrest says 'Mama always said, dying was part of life. I sure wish it wasn't.' The timing was... we'll say highly coincidental... Forrest Gump was my sister Debbie's favorite movie and today was the 3rd anniversary of Debbie's passing. 

I have always hated the month of February, the holidays are long over and the weather is usually so bad. Spring usually hasn't yet sprung and I have a hard time finding anything to look forward to. It was an awful blow to watch my sister struggle through February in 2009. There is no way to explain or describe to you what it is like to know that the end is coming for someone that you love with everything you are, that is such a part of your life that you're not sure how you or your family will ever be the same when they're gone. 

Towards the end it was hard for Debbie to express a thought clearly. She had to really marshal her energy both mentally and physically to get something out. The day before Debbie passed I was visiting with her and getting my things together to head home for the evening. I went by to give her a hug and kiss goodbye. I saw in her eyes that she was wanting to tell me something so I paused for a few seconds, not sure that she was going to be able to tell me what she wanted, but definitely wanting to hear what she might say. She gave me a small smile and said 'I like it when you're here'. It was like she had give me a gift of pure gold, and it was the last thing she said to me. 

So I watched those last few minutes of Forrest Gump last night and as the theme music was closing the movie, the same music that was used at Debbie's service, I went around the room touching everything I have from her. A necklace she wore, a dresser that was in both our rooms when we were kids that I now have, a teddy bear that sat in our Dad's childhood rocker in her home, and the last birthday card she gave me.

And to use another Forrest Gump quote, for now, 'that's all I have to say about that'.

1 comment:

  1. I miss her so much, too. And that's all...

    Susan McCord